Thrive State Podcast

EPISODE 54: Dating and Relationships for High Performers

Episode 54: Christine Chang

#relationshipgoals—is this in your 2022 list of things to work on or take to the next level?

Relationships is one of the seven bioenergetic elements I’ve discussed in my book Thrive State, as your blueprint for optimal health, longevity, and peak performance. So it’s my mission, too, to help out in this area.

So let’s unpack that: What are your challenges? What’s keeping you from those #relationshipgoals?

We all know healthy relationships take some work. A lot even, for many, like high performers, or people who identify themselves as brought up to be overachievers and wanting to take over the world.

Inside relationships, they love to be on the climb. And so even stable relationships can get boring and do not simply ‘work’. Complicated but sounds familiar?

I’m bringing on a special guest in my latest podcast episode—Christine Chang!

Christine is a best-selling relationship author and speaker based in Los Angeles. She
helps high-performers create ideal relationships by teaching self-awareness, boundaries,
accountability, and communication skills.

Her book “Show Up: Finding Love for Independent Women” has helped thousands of professional women all over the world create the relationship of their dreams.

This episode from the Thrive State podcast is in it to help you on your 2022 #relationshipgoals so don’t miss out!

You can also catch Christine in her very own Show Up with Christine Chang and through her IG @cchangandco.

Show notes

0:52

High Performers: People who are brought up to be overachievers. They want to take over the world.

2:18

Common Patterns and Challenges: They love to be on the climb. They usually tend to choose people who are emotionally unavailable, just out of their reach, or subconsciously putting themselves in situations where it’s not going to work out. A healthy relationship that is stable can feel boring.

6:40

Both high performers in a relationship? It’s possible for two high performers to speak together, but the emotional component needs to match. Many high performers have this purpose and mission they want to do, but leave their partners feeling unattended and neglected.

9:40

Prioritizing working on yourself is always a good idea. But dating is also a fantastic way to learn about yourself. But while you’re dating, you can be respectful of the other person and be honest about where you are and give them a fair chance to make a decision as well. Communication is very important in that area.

12:03

A relationship is a great training ground to get some healing. In a relationship, there’s sometimes a lot of arguments, a lot of old things come up. But that’s good because as they come up, you can start to become aware of them and heal.

13:15

Getting clarity on the type of person you want: Just start writing things down. Be aware of what you want versus what you need. Focus on how you feel first rather than the qualities of the other person. Know your core values and then get clear on which ones are non-negotiable and which ones are.

16:38

Building up self-worth muscle: Affirmations. It takes time to build the muscle so that you do not get devastated when someone dumps you.

20:57

Relationships could be very messy at first during that growth process. But you should not be discouraged when conflict arises. It is an opportunity for growth and healing.

21:43

Fitting in a relationship? Get clear on whether or not you want to be in a relationship. If you’re being honest with yourself and there is a part of you that would love that partnership, you have to create a little bit of space for that.

22:54

A lot of it is timing as well. But it’s possible to be building something and also have a relationship. Date, create a relationship there. Ease was something that I looked for and ease is a good sign.

25:04

Christine’s Best Medicine: Clarity. I feel good when I have clarity in life. And intimate relationships. I embrace really deep relationships because when it’s our time to go, the only thing we have to take with us is the memories.

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